Encouragement About Your “Words”

In my past I was known for telling people “off”. It was my reputation. Living with this sin right beside me I took pride in being able to hurt people with my words. I did not realize that one day I would deal with the consequence of “not caring” how others took my words. To add, I didn’t realize that hurtful words would come from different people or rather, from those that I would not expect it from.

In response to my “receiving” what I had given out so often, I developed a tough skin. I convinced myself that words just wouldn’t hurt me. I built a wall around myself and kept going. What did hurt were the relationships that died as result of the words being exchanged. I could forgive someone for the things that they had said and I could ask for forgiveness for the things that I said, but relationships were stalled or left for dead thereafter.

I lost precious years with a dear loved one because neither of us knew the right “words” to say to one another. We loved each other but we spent too much time saying ugly words to one another. I made the decision to stay away from my relative and not deal with the situation because I felt that neither of us was willing to change.

During this time apart, we both went on with our lives. We both grew closer to God, but not closer to each other. I learned, coincidentally, and by way of other stalled relationships that my telling people “off”, wasn’t working. God was showing me the damage that was being caused. God began to show me the hearts that were left broken, the lives that weren’t being changed for the better. I began to recognize that if a person will ever change for the better, it had to be done in love.

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

God uses love when dealing with us. I had to stop and think about this. The most powerful being on earth uses love to compel us, convince us, to help us understand and to bring us closer to Him. I’m human without the power to give life, take life, cause the sun to shine or the rain to fall. I needed to follow God’s example to me.

Be ye angry, and sin not… Ephesians 4:26a

God had begun to make it very clear that it was time for me to do better in this area of my life. Now I had to deal with the consequences. The first thing were the trials. Our trials build character and patience. During each trial, our job is to resist the temptation so that we overcome it. I started enduring a lot of disrespect and I had to learn how to respond to it. What words would bring peace to the situation? How do I explain myself without hurting the person attacking me? What do I say Lord? I still say these prayers.

As I grew stronger with every trial, God saw fit to reunite me with my loved one. We reconnected as if no time had come between us. We connected in a new way and it was a blessing to both of us. Unfortunately, our time was short. We had 1 year together and God decided that it was time for my loved one to rest. My heart feels this loss every single day.

Since that time I’ve continued to have words hurled at me. Up until today, I’ve had people feel that they are telling me “off”. I’ve learned to pray and pattern my words so that I am not the attacker. I’ve learned to love my enemies, bless them that curse me, do good to them that hate me, and pray for them that despitefully use me and persecute me. Matthew 5:44

I’m not saying that it doesn’t hurt, because IT HURTS. Especially when those words eat away at a relationship. It’s different from a stranger, but it hurts when it comes from those you love, those you never expected it from, those that you may have never spoken a horrible word to ever in your life.

What I can tell you is what I’ve learned…Hold on to God’s hand in your situation. Pray about it, cry out to God about it. Allow God to comfort you and whatever you do…don’t return 1 bad word. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of giving someone a “piece of your mind”. Don’t let someone else encourage you to do anything that isn’t from a loving heart. It won’t pay. It won’t benefit you. It won’t help the situation, it will only create distance, bitterness and hurt. Instead, repair the bridge that the other person is tearing apart.

God will take care of you and bless you…just wait and see.

Whatever they say

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23 Replies to “Encouragement About Your “Words””

    1. Time does heal everything. I taught myself long ago to ignore it, but that was because I would lash out in retaliation. Its different when you quietly or respectfully endure. Thank you so much for commenting.

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    1. I understand. 20 years ago I would have laughed at this post myself. I’m glad that I’m able to weather storms today with my faith in God! He’s my greatest help! Thank you so much for commenting Amber!

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  1. We all grow and change, and that’s what’s so wonderful about life. We figure out what works for us and what doesn’t. What’s most important is that we follow our hearts and hold onto those things that are the most precious: kind words, friendships and sharing the love we all have for one another – for both strangers and friends alike.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your story. Some great advice and I totally agree. In James it tells us ”Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..” It’s a verse I look at whenever I feel like retaliating.

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  3. I have no drama in my life. I am a very happy go lucky person, I don’t take anything too seriously and always look at everything with a positive perspective. Life is way to short to be negative and I think people are attracted to my attitude and perspective on life, which is why people tend to like to hang out with me!

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  4. I’m glad you were able to fix your relationship. I realize how important they are and try to keep that in perspective. I am following God more and seeking his guidance daily and I feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s really tough to stay calm and cool during heated conversation or during a fight, but that’s what we need to learn in life because less you speak at that time, less you indulge yourself in problems. And sometimes we regret too after saying certain things. It’s really important to have a company of kind and positive people.

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  6. It is very normal to become frustrated or angry with another person’s actions. It seems in society we either avoid it and bottle it up, or tell the person off like you said. I really try to go for the happy medium. I find that it’s best to calm down, orgranize my thoughts and go to the person in love. I still am honest with them but I tell them it in a loving way rather than an angry one. I think in general, we all could learn how to handle conflict in a more rational way. We are human and it happens. But if handled in the right way, it can build relationships rather than tear them down.

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